MEnding Monologues

Domestic Violence is a woman's problem. A common belief that completely alienates the male population and leaves the female half to "fix" the problem with very little resource and support. In fact some people actually try to work AGAINST her efforts to create change. It's true that a majority of women's rights have come to fruition through tenacious work of women like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns as portrayed in the Iron Jawed Angels; however, there are moments when both genders work together and speak with one voice.


What if we could delve a little more into the minds of the men who are touched by violence against women? How would a father feel about finding out his beloved daughter was a victim of abuse? How would a friend deal with the knowledge that a guy he knew well had date raped a close female friend in college? Many men, like the victims, are silent about abuse towards women. This type of frustration is what led to the MEnding Monologues.

Inspired by Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues, Derek Dujardin was inspired to speak out against violence towards women, but with a male perspective. Yet another example of the wonderful way that art can help make a difference. Here is an excerpt from his website:

According to Dujardin, there is a ripple effect to violence. What he calls “second-hand abuse” or collateral damage done to men via the abuse done to the women in their lives. When a woman experiences abuse, her father, friends, lovers, brothers, husbands and sons—are also affected in many ways. Unfortunately, men don’t talk about these wounds and their feelings of disempowerment around violence. They ignore them, they stuff them. As a result, women think that men just don’t care.

Derek even took his all male performance to the V-Day celebrity performance in New Orleans this year and got to meet Eve Ensler and has her full support. He and his troupe are telling the world that violence towards women is also a man's problem, helping to break the silence on both sides. Yes!

We don't see much from the male side about their thoughts and efforts to end domestic violence, especially if they were abused themselves; however, I did find a slew of websites that prove there are men in history and currently out there today working together on the same page. Here is a very small sampling.

The Mending Monologues
Male Support of Female Suffrage Movement
Strong Men Don't Bully
Men Ending Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Texas
Men Against Domestic Violence

Change

The world is becoming a smaller place. This is a double edged sword with the Internet. In one hand, the information age we live in has created an interest in knowledge and information sharing that is a marvel. It's way more difficult to hide things from people, which in turn can lead to social changes in otherwise secluded areas or topics. On the other hand, misinformation and power struggles arise when people learn the wrong facts and/or strive for policy changes against a political machine that wants to keep status-quo. We see this all the time--even now with the presidential campaign.

When it comes to legislation, the fight is long and hard. Behind the scenes there are diligent individuals working to push new laws through that will hopefully better our lives as a people. Not only is it a long obstacle course, but there is usually someone in control who apposes the efforts, and many times with very little reason involved. Change is slow.


I've mentioned Rhonda Kamper in a previous posts. She is working on Henry's Law in Utah to pass a first felony offense for animal torture. Unfortunately, Henry's law did not pass. Among overwhelming support by the public and the House of Representatives, the bill was altered dramatically to include only companion dogs and cats as a third felony offense because of fears over treatment of farm animals. (If you want to see what happens to farm animals, check out Peta.) This is a baby step toward positive change and an example of why it takes forever for change to happen.

Another example is one of the volunteers in the Bravery project has been trying to pass the a law that strangulation is attempted murder and must be treated as a felony, not a misdemeanor. For four years, she has run up against a senator, for whatever reason, apposes the efforts. Change is slow.

If you don't know history, you should. There are lots of cool docudramas and fascinating stories to make history more interesting to learn. A common thread you will see is the dogma that sticks to the policies that govern. One of my favorite examples is William Wilberforce, the abolitionist who was a Member of Parliament in England back in the 18th century. At this time, the African slave trade was in it's prime. The UK, Europe, American economy were strongly dependent on the slave labor force, nevermind the unbelievable cruelty involved. William worked tenaciously year after year to pass an antislave trade motion. It took him 18 years. The motion abolished the slave trade, but did not free those already enslaved. This was a giant leap, but much more needed to be done.

Fighting for human and animal rights, for some reason, has always been a long struggle, but one worth the effort and time. In our era, we are fortunate enough to have information tools and stronger freedoms to express our unrest, yet there is still a lot of work to be done for basic and obvious changes that should have already been in place for such a "civilized society."

Be empowered by learning lessons in history; we have no excuse with information at a click of a mouse. Don't give up the good fight; keep the pressure on those stubborn bureaucrats. Get involved and use your voice; talk openly about issues and VOTE this year. Eventually positive changes will happen.


Henry's Law
Amazing Grace
Implications of Historical Ignorance
Herstory of Domestic Violence: A Timeline of the Battered Women's Movement

Gratitude

I don't know about everyone else, but I almost always begin my day with feelings of excitement and thoughts of gratitude. Usually I pop out of bed full of energy, ready to explore what the new day has to offer. Somewhere along my morning routine, I say a little prayer of thanks in my head to my higher power for the wonderful opportunity I have to bring my dream of Bravery to fruition. There is so much to be thankful for and I really do owe these thoughts to all the people who are helping me make this organization possible.

I continue to meet wonderful people who have survived some of the most desperate of situations and have emerged into the most incredible human beings. A few of you, Bravery volunteers, have shed some tears during the consultation meeting and feel puzzled about this. I think there is something about WANTING to share your story, even with me-a total stranger, with thoughts of gratitude on how far you have come, knowing that Bravery is about helping and educating others. I salute all of you and thank you for choosing to be part of the program.

A few of you have offered assistance to Bravery in various ways and I am touched by the generosity. There is a lot to do and I will most likely be taking you up on some of the offers. In the meantime, I appreciate your excellent ideas, commentary, and inspiration. Keep them coming. If I am feeling less than grateful, working on the project is always enjoyable and lifts my spirits.

On my list of thanks is Costco who has agreed to sponsor some of the food at the opening reception. Those of you who shop Costco, will probably agree that this is very good as they have lots of delicious bites to offer. They are very community service oriented and have an easy grant application with quick turnaround time for those of you in the charity circuit. This donation will provide a good portion, but not quite meet all the requirements, so we continue to look for sponsors. I could bring in some of my home cooking, but that's a little like playing roulette. Even following the recipe, it never looks like the darn photograph, but poor hubby eats it with a grimace anyway.

Intimate Partner Violence and Media

John and Linda King are at it again. Reading my mind that is... I've mentioned before how amazing it is that there is media about various issues, but I've never seen more than one or two in my lifetime addressing domestic violence, whether on TV, radio, magazines, or even billboards. When I do, it's only during October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

I am not by any means minimizing the seriousness of breast cancer, because it is common and way too many people suffer from it. I am happy that there is so much awareness about the issue because women do need to learn how to prevent it; however, the same kind of fervor needs to be exercised when it comes to domestic abuse awareness.

Here's the proof: (U. S. stats only)

In 2004 the CDC claims that 186,772 women and 1,815 men developed breast cancer, and 40,954 women and 362 men died from breast cancer. Ouch.

In 2004 the CDC claims that 4.8 million women experience intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes and 2.9 million men are the victims of intimate partner related physical assaults. That same year, 1,544 (75% women) died from IVP or Intimate Partner Violence. IVP means two people in a close relationship. It doesn't include child abuse, elder abuse, animal abuse, teen dating violence, etc.

CDC Breast Cancer Statistic for 2004
CDC IVP Statistic for 2004 (bottom left of first page)

This is why the King's are working hard to bring information to the public. After losing one of their daughters to the IVP statistic, they are finding ways to get the word out. The video in this post is just such an endeavor. Hopefully we will see this message jump from the small screen to the big one.

Seven New Volunteers

My day started out very similar to the image on the left. It was crazy-busy getting ready for Cup O Karma. Overall the event was a pretty successful last evening. Thanks to all of you who came to say hello. It was a delight to see you again!!!

The portraits were a hit. I had a corner in the Yoga Studio with some beautiful art stands and two wonderful volunteers, Cindy and Stacy. They did a great job of meeting people and explaining the program. I am proud to say that 7 new volunteers signed up last night to have portraits done. This is good news because I will have met my portrait quota for Fresh Start. The next venue is the Paul Elsner Library at Mesa Community College, in which I plan to have 10 pieces exhibited there, so things are really moving along in good timing before October.

Now, I've thought about it and have decided to continue taking new volunteers until August. Although some people will not be in the physical exhibit due to space (unless I can find more venues willing to show and take pledges), there is always the Internet. This is so exciting because Bravery is already being promoted out of state. Last night I even met a lady who works for the government in London, England who was telling me that she wished something like Bravery was there. Woah! I explained that Bravery doesn't have to stay local, so it looks like the future could hold some pretty interesting opportunities. There are people in need everywhere. Not only can the portraits be used to bring awareness, healing, and donations; they can be used as proof that programs do indeed work. It continues to be a win-win.

The only caveat in my enthusiasm is that I am a one person show at this time. Currently, I am able to handle the workload of the project, but as things move ahead, I will need to add to the board of directors, garner some administrative and artist help, and obtain some financial support. As my temp assignment at ASU comes to a close this month, I will be focused on artwork and media relations. If anyone wants to share media contacts and ideas with me, I would be most appreciative.