It's a No Brainer

Recently, my husband came to me with the Valley & State section of the Arizona Republic talking about a DV training program called Empire Gives Back. This is a partnership effort between Empire Education Group and Cut It Out (national DV prevention program) in which students at the Empire Beauty Schools will learn about DV, awareness efforts, and victim support among other things--all supported by Attorney General, Terry Goddard and Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence. That's terrific news! The only part I thought was funny is the "no brainer" comments made by Goddard.

According to Goddard, this partnership is a no brainer because beauticians are most likely to see DV victims and to hear about abuse as they do beauty services on women. Right? Well, many of you are probably thinking yes, of course it's a perfect match.

I might agree, but being someone who colors her own hair (too cheap to pay for salons), does her own nails (clips 'em off due to lazinezz and artistry), and gets a hair cut from her all time favorite gal at Great Clips...that counts me out. As for other women, well yes if they can AFFORD the services and can actually get out of the house. Additionally, this partnership presupposes again that this is a woman's issue.

Let's look at it another way. How about a program called Medicine Has Your Back, in which partnership efforts take place between medical schools, hospitals, and Cut It Out so that quality training is required in the medical community. Okay, so the title needs a little work, but the idea of focusing in this industry has WAY more impact on domestic abuse. Why do I say this? Because doctors are more likely to see a person in crisis than a beautician, not that I am knocking Empire. It's absolutely wonderful; however, hospitals see children, women and men in crisis and are in a great position to help. I return to my mantra that domestic abuse is a human and animal rights issue, not just a female one. Additionally, if the medical industry as a whole would recognize this serious pandemic for what it is and have campaign programs in place that help victims, it might even help their bottom line. Now that to me is a no brainer.

Terry Goddard and Cut It Out
Empire Gives Back

Hands of Hope

Yesterday, I had the honor to bring Bravery to a half-day seminar hosted by Hands of Hope. This was the first time I had attended an event focused on the Christian community. The seminar was given by Steven R. Tracy, Ph.D., author of “Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse” and Founder of Mending the Soul Ministries - Professor of Theology and Ethics, Phoenix Seminary.

Steven was a pastor for 15 years and has extensive experience in dealing with families who suffer in domestic abuse situations. His presentation was backed by solid research on the subject of domestic violence (primarily focusing on marriage situations) in regards to the definition of domestic violence, understanding the abuser, and how the church should and should not respond. Unfortunately, he explained that studies show only 7% of people are willing to go to their pastor, clergy, bishop, minister, etc. to request help.

Furthermore, his research shows that people in the Christian communities have two top requests from their church leaders:
1. Believe the victims when they ask for help. Don't tell them to try harder to be a better wife.
2. Acknowledge the problem and address it in the congregation. Admit it happens and is not acceptable.

Dr. Tracy explained that these top priorities don't cost any money or take any extra people or resources to implement. This information proves how badly awareness is needed and that simply acknowledging and listening those who still suffer goes such a long away. He is on a crusade to teach others about this issue and how to help people in religious communities. Food for the soul.

I have a brother who was a church leader in his community for over five years. I adore him because he is sweet, quite innocent about worldly ways, genuinely wants to be good and help others, and laughs at my bad jokes; however, when we discussed how to handle a case of child abuse, I became quite distraught.

He was taught at the time of his new appointment that discoveries of domestic abuse were to be handled within the church. I argued with him that police authorities must be contacted to remove the child from the hostile environment and hold the abuser accountable. As much as he wanted to do the right thing, we disagreed on this issue. Even with "you could have blood on your hands if the child ends up dead" was not enough to sway him from apposing the church leaders' indoctrination.

A problem with many religious communities is the dichotomy of church law vs law of the land or legal law. Many devout followers put religious faith above worldly life for various reasons. Personally I don't see the reason why they can't work together (we'll save polygomy for another post). If either religious or legal practice fails to help, protect, and heal the victim of abuse, then they are not doing their job. I can't imagine that when I die, God would say to me, "Although you did not save that child from torture and death, thanks for saying your prayers."


Dr. Stephen Tracy (You can request Dr. Tracy to speak at your congregation. He also trains other facilitators to give seminars about domestic violence.)

Mending the Soul by Stephen R. Tracy

Hands of Hope

Some interesting reads:
Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence
The Bible on Abuse & Violence

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck...

There is always the opportunity to shake your head at the crazy human race when watching the news on TV or reading the newspaper. We read about a heinous, violent crime or some guy named Madoff who made-off with billions and think to ourselves, "why do people behave this way?" Here's a possible answer: Because we don't really want to know.

For a brief time, I was reading the paper and collecting articles about civil rights violations against women all around the world. This was during my college days while taking my first Women Studies course at ASU. What a shocker that was. I found it odd that we even needed something like Women Studies until I realized how invisible our gender has been throughout history and education on so many levels. In class, the professor taught about female oppression and got me questioning, "how bad could it really be?" I decided to find out by scouring the Arizona Republic and became rather disheartened as my collection of misogyny articles grew into the double digits. After about 30 some articles in less than a month, I stopped. It was really depressing. Ignorance can be bliss.

Looking back I could see that most of the articles were about domestic abuse but rarely, if ever, mentioned those words. If you really look at homicide articles about women and children, usually the same language is absent.

For example, the CNN report of the highly publicized Jennifer Hudson tragedy. The reporter labels the triple homicide of her nephew, mother, and brother as "home invasion" and "first degree murder." Technically this is a true statement because yes he did invade the home and yes he did kill three people in cold blood; however, experience shows that an abuser will manipulate, use, and hurt loved ones to control or enact revenge on a victim, which makes it a full blown domestic abuse case in the worst way, which is what he did.

Reading further on the article states, "The motive for the shootings was 'domestic-related, between him and his former wife, and that's about as far as we can go,' said Deputy Police Superintendent Steve Peterson." The cause of the violence is conveniently skirted over which reduces the real issue by not calling it what it is: Domestic Abuse. Ewww that ugly title. If we choose to leave certain words absent, then people won't think about it that way. But hey, of course the motive shouldn't be a focal point, even if it becomes one in the courtroom. As readers we just want to know WHAT they did, not WHY they did it. Or do we?

To drive the point home, Jennifer founded her own nonprofit called Hudson-King Foundation for Families of Slain Victims, which provides shelter, food, clothing, and grief counseling to families. Notice how one article mentions domestic abuse and the other does not. Which one do you think stuck? I challenge you as an intelligent and informed viewer and reader of news media to look at the WHY as well as the WHAT, but watchout, because you might lose your bliss!

Sister's Ex Charged in Murder Case
Jennifer Hudson Announces Foundation for Families of Slain Victims
Jennifer Hudson Creates Domestic Violence Foundation

Free Stuff for NonProfits

The predictions for 2009 are not looking too good for anyone, especially nonprofits. Funding will continue to decline this year and people will tighten their wallets as unemployment continues to rise. In Phoenix, city funded programs deemed uncritical are the first to go like the Shemer Art Gallery I was hoping to exhibit my artwork in this year. However, that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the five senior centers being eliminated. Where are all these people supposed to go? What could be more important than taking care of elderly human beings who can't help themselves and have no one to take care of them? However, the economy isn't bleak for everyone.

Not surprisingly, during a national economic downturn and amidst the Great American Bailout, Congress voted to give themselves raises and now the Federal Judges want one. It's a good time to be on the political welfare system. No one can really blame Congress because the public keeps voting the same folks back into office to do the same things they have for decades (insert your own list here). The bipartisan team of elected public servants come together on at least one item of business: Giving themselves raises. Sheesh wouldn't you do the same?

I am not here to depress everyone, but to shed a ray of light in the gray skies of greed and selfishness. Fortunately for the human race, there are smart and compassionate people out there with programs available to nonprofits. To help you find them, I will provide you with a couple of great resources to start. Over this next year (in the membership to come) I will hunt and root out as many great finds I can and share them with you to help your organization and you as the individual on your journey to save money and continue your services to others.

Grassroots.org (Excellent resource for 501c3 non profits to have FREE website hosting among access to volunteer professional services. I can even help you build and maintain your website.)

Techsoup.org (A resource for professional software programs for nonprofits. Some are free and some are deeply discounted. Lots of free advice available.)

Microsoft.com (Lots of great free document templates for your personal and business life to help you organize.)

Phoenix Unveils $270 million dollars in cuts