
An advocate recommended this book, Battered Wives, which was written in the early 70's when domestic violence was almost completely invisible to all pillars of society, yet running rampant like a hidden cancer, eating away at the nuclear family and legal and civil rights of victims. Although the book is full of stats and facts, it's a very interesting read.
I am aghast while reading about an advertisement in 1975 Vogue, "a fashion layout in which a


Fast forward thirty-some years and I am greeted with a song over the radio from the band du jour, Hinder, called Get Stoned with lyrics about what a nut his girlfriend is because she is always yelling at him, so he tells her to "go home, get stoned, cause the sex is so much better when your mad at me...the breakup is worth the makeup sex your giving me." Okay, so he's not a stranger seizing her off, but it appears that instead of letting her go, he likes to exert his control over her sexually the most when she is angry and wants to leave him. She must like it best that way. Perhaps the healthy couple visited Storr for a couple of psychiatric sessions. Although ads like the jumpsuit and Storr's insightful perspective on female sexuality are unacceptable today, current media messages are not far off the mark.
In order to understand the deeper dynamics of the Power and Control in domestic abuse, one must learn more about history and the prominent beliefs of the day. I do not necessarily think badly about Vogue, Storr or Hinder because they are simply a product of cultural conditioning as we all are. It would be nice to simply tell people, "hitting your spouse is not okay" or "women enjoy romance as a prelude to sex rather than force" and they get the picture, but cultural change is needed and that means swimming against the tide from an ocean that is vast and deep.
Anthony Storr
Hinder's Get Stoned
Battered Wives
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