Culture vs Compassion

I want to share this article from the Arizona Republic with you because it is a good example of behavior that is excused by culture. When we learn about behavior or abuse in another country, it makes us feel uncomfortable, but becomes easy to dismiss as "their cultural." (i.e. female genital mutilation) Therein lies the perennial questions about moral subjectivism, and yet we can say that WE would never do such a thing. Why is that? Perhaps because as an ever evolving human race, our cultural pocket in this world is one that constantly corrects itself through strong voices and actions of people, like Peggy Bilsten, who know that culture makes no difference. Abuse is abuse is abuse. In the case of this little girl's parents, I'll never understand how cultural belief can supercede the protection and love for their own a child.

Support offered for 8-year-old victim of sex assault

Families want to adopt girl, 8, make donations

by Michael Ferraresi - Jul. 25, 2009 12:00 AM
The Arizona Republic

Peggy Bilsten returned home from a month-long humanitarian trip to help rape victims in Africa to learn of a similar victim in Phoenix. Like the victims she met in Africa, this one "survived hell," she said.

The former Phoenix city councilwoman offered to adopt the 8-year-old Liberian refugee who police said was held down and raped by a group of neighborhood boys at a Maryvale apartment complex.

The victim landed in the care of Arizona Child Protective Services after her father made statements to authorities that he no longer wanted her in the home because she brought shame to the family. The story triggered an outpouring of support from families willing to adopt the girl, help her recover or simply to donate clothing and toys to ease her transition into foster care.

The attack also prompted the president of war-torn Liberia to issue a statement Friday about the Phoenix case, stating that the country was trying to mend its issues with sexual violence.

Bilsten traveled last month to Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo with the Christian missionary group Mending the Soul.

"It's important we don't excuse this as culture," she said. "This was the result of evil, not culture."

The four boys - ages 14, 13, 10 and 9 - face criminal charges in connection to the July 16 incident in which police said they lured the girl into a shed with chewing gum, held her down, and raped her.

Citing department policy, CPS officials declined to answer questions about the victim, although they said the girl was safely recovering in foster care.

The agency is conducting its own investigation, working with the victim's family to determine whether their home could eventually be deemed safe. Officials said each CPS case is treated on an individual basis.

Steven Tuopeh, 14, will be prosecuted as an adult on charges of kidnapping and sexual assault, according to the Maricopa County Attorney's Office. Prosecutors have two weeks to decide to petition Maricopa County Superior Court to transfer any of the boys' juvenile cases to adult court.

Officers arrested the boys at their homes Tuesday, five days after neighbors at the west Phoenix apartment complex called police after the girl ran screaming and partially clothed from the shed where the attack occurred.

Investigators said the boys held the girl down inside the shed and took turns sexually assaulting her for nearly 15 minutes.

Police said the victim knew her attackers, but they were not sure how long the families lived in the complex or how long it had been since they fled Liberia. Three of the boys lived with their families at the complex.

Investigators were unclear on the suspects' personal backgrounds, based on their refugee status.

Detectives focused on the July 16 incident during interviews with the boys, police Sgt. Andy Hill said. They conducted the interviews with their families' consent.

Hill added that the boys' experiences in Liberia never came up in interviews.

"Nothing in the interviews really (brought up) anything from the past," he said. "You need to be careful in your interviews (with child suspects). You can't try to lead or coerce or anything."

Hill said the emotional outpouring from the public was the most significant for a child victim he has seen in nearly 25 years.

Abuse Is Not An Event; It's A Process.

It's not often that we get lucky enough to have someone in a power position take notice and become active in the domestic abuse movement. Fortunately, we have an advocate for proactive change in Judge Toler.

You may have seen her on Divorce Court, one of the most successful real-life drama television shows on KSAZ (Phoenix, AZ). She has worked with thousands of cases in domestic violence, stalking, assault, and stalking. After seeing her speak at the Women's Luncheon at the George Washington Carver Museum in June, it was easy to see why her show is so successful. Not only is she beautiful, she is funny, intelligent and really cares about working towards stemming the flow of violence and abuse rather than reacting to it.

Several key points from her speech were surprising, even to me. One may think that a DV case even making it to court is a win because it's rare and the abuser may finally have to be accountable for his/her actions; however, according to Judge Toler, "it's little too late." In a culture that pulls off a few leaves on issues rather than hacking at the roots of the trees, she understands from experience that abuse is a community problem and it develops as a process rather than just an event.

My previous post on Why Domestic Violence: if not you, then who? demonstrates more graphically the same message. People don't go into a relationship thinking or knowing they will be abused, but they still have to take responsibility for that first step to get out. That initial step is what frustrates people. Why doesn't she leave being the most common question, but they don't realize that leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim and usually the very act happening when we read about a homicide/murder/suicide case in the newspapers. A key to prevention of these media stories repeating themselves is that a "community provides a means of exit that is safe," according to Toler. Again we go back to awareness, education, then action.

Anyone can become an advocate in very small ways by first learning more about the issue of abuse, especially if one knows a person in the situation. Then by giving her a phone number for help and telling her that she deserves better. Keep this number with you in your wallet or purse and present it when she is alone. Most of all listen to her and don't judge. You will be amazed at how this small and free gesture could save her life and many others after her. You can be a hero.


Domestic Violence: if not you, then who?
Divorce Court
Toler on NPR