Child Abuse Blues

A disturbing story was shared with me during a breakfast meeting about a 3 1/2 year old little girl. Her parents are divorced and she is shared between them on a weekly basis. In addition to the stress caused from an unstable home, she is acting out and not in a good way. There is a difference between when kids are upset, depressed and become beligerent, but her behavior is demonstrated in a sexual nature that is far beyond what a 3 year old should know.

What does a parent do if a child exhibits unnatural behavior...what do you do if you see something that is clearly unhealthy? Child abuse is a social issue that can be prevented, but everyone must get involved. Many of the survivors in the portrait series were abused as kids first before falling prey to an adult predator. They overcame as adults, but as helpless children, the scars remain. So as an individual and a parent how do we help these kids? The following points were given to me by a counselor who deals with numerous cases just like this one; now I am passing her advice on to you.

1. Pay attention to the child's behavior. This is obvious right? It's important to know the difference between natural body exploration and acting out sexually.

2. Report it to CPS or another authority that handles these cases. SUPER important. If you work for a school, for instance, it is mandatory that you report what you see. As a parent this is a challenge because of the investigation, but the crime MUST be documented in order to prosecute. It's harder for the abuser to win in court when he has to fight all first-hand witnesses rather than just the parent trying to protect her child.

3. Get counseling immediately. A child at the point of acting out is in a critical emotional state that must be addressed. She has to learn how to deal with her feelings. We are not talking once a month here, but weekly. If kids don't get this support to help them sort out their emotions, then they can decline into worse behavior and become perpetrators.

4. Remove the child from the questionable surroundings. This may seem obvious, but isn't always easy to do. In the case of this mother, she is going through the proper channels of reporting and trying to get sole custody of her daughter, but she is also fighting prejudices in the court system. Aside from kidnapping charges, she is doing everything she can by researching her options.

5. Support the parent. As an individual, whether a friend or relative, it's imperative that you support her efforts to continue forward through legal channels. From the outside, we may think, she isn't doing enough or we think we would do something different, like deal with kidnapping charges just to protect the child if that's what it takes. Realistically, we don't really know what we would do unless we have been there. Offer her support, i.e. ask her if there is anything you can do to help her like some research or make a phone call. Ask any victim how hard it is just to come forward about abuse, let alone go through a slow and frustrating court system.

This one is my own assessment from working with survivors.

6. Be warned about your denial. If you are a parent and know your child is being abused (yes this happens too often), you must remember that your denial for whatever reason: financial hardship, fear of retaliation, fear of death, fear of losing custody, etc. the pain your kid is going through will come back to haunt you. For a temporary comfort, the damage you receive as a parent who loves her child plays back tenfold as the guilt you feel in your older years. I have seen this time and again in the stories from Bravery Project. There are resources and people who are trained to help you and your child.

Remember you are not alone.


Office for Victims of Crime: Child Abuse
National Hotline Numbers
Child Help

Charities You Should Know About

During the journey of service, we meet wonderful individuals who are using their skills to benefit communities. I want to share a few of them, and encourage you to get in touch with these people to see how you can get involved. Most of all, share the information with others; that is the best way to promote someone wonderful--through your trusted recommendation.
_______________________________________________

Brokers For Charity
I found out about this wonderful organization through word of mouth and discovered they are raising funds for charities through commercial and residential real estate transactions. As a referral service, Brokers for Charity refers real estate deals to quality agents and then gives a portion of the referral fee to the charity chosen by the agent. This is a FREE referral service for agents, which means that this is a monetary win-win for everyone.
________________________________________________

Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling
I met this wonderful lady at an E-women Network business luncheon. Her company recycles bras from all over the country. They gather old, used, unused bras and pick out the best ones to donate to women's shelters. The rest get sent to factories out of the country for recycling. The metal and plastic bits are pulled out and melted down; the fabric is made into rags that get reused in various products. A true green company with a huge heart. I have the pleasure of collaborating with them in our upcoming fundraiser: Karma Cups: An Uplifting Affair next month. I hope you will come and bring your unused bras. If you have a nonprofit that needs bras or wants to do fundraising, you must contact Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling.
________________________________________________

Hope for Women Arts
This is an art therapy program started by one of the survivors from Bravery Project, Joyce White. Hope for Women Arts is partnered with Arizona Art Alliance, which provides the art materials for volunteer teachers to teach a art classes in domestic violence shelters. If you are an artist, contact them about doing a volunteer teaching class. It's a great way to give back.
________________________________________________

Purple Ribbon Council
This grassroots, volunteer led organization has several wonderful programs, including the Purple Ribbon Children's Fund for kids who have lost a parent to homicide. They have several fund raising events, such as Girls Night Out, across the US that you can attend to help them raise funds that go toward prevention programs and awareness.
________________________________________________

International

Pixel Project
This is an example of finding a grassroots organization via social media. I met up with these people on Twitter and then Facebook. Their volunteer based group runs across four continents to promote ending violence against women on a global scale. Their goal is to raise US$1 million (or more) for Malaysia's Women's Aid Organisation (http://www.wao.org.my) and the U.S.A.'s National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (http://www.ncadv.org) during the biggest global recession ever (according to Alan Greenspan) by taking fund-and-awareness raising into the 21st Century.
_____________________________________________

Bell Bajao
This is another social media networking win. Based out of India and New York, Bell Bajao and Breakthrough are an international human rights group that encourages the public to stand against domestic violence. They use the power of popular culture to send messages that domestic violence is not acceptable. In our Purple Ribbon Study Circles, we discussed the need for a media blitz to get the message out to as many people as possible...this organization can provide an example of just that.

Upcoming Events

We have some upcoming events that might be of interest. You can even participate from out of state! Instead of just asking for a donation to keep us alive during this tough economy, we are offering you something wonderful in return for your support.
_______________________________________

September 26th 4-8pm
Karma Cups: An Uplifting Affair
Featuring the Bra-Vogue Contest and Fashion Show
This kid-friendly event is a collaboration between Bravery Project, NATN, and Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling. Donate a bra and get 50% off your ticket. Decorate a bra and send in for the $200 1st place price. The best bras will be modeled in the fashion show. We are still accepting sponsors for this event. Tickets and information can be viewed online!

Funds from this event, will help keep our organizations running.

Need some bra ideas?




______________________________________________

November 9th 6-9:30pm
Evening of the Arts
Join us with Fix the Hurt Performing Arts Group at Broadway Palm Dinner Theater for an elegant evening of fine art exhibit, silent auction, live music by Lisa Addeo, dinner and theater performance. Information with tickets and sponsorship can be viewed and purchased online.

Funds from this event will go to Bravery Scholarship program to send 3 survivors to college and to create a new teen dating violence musical that is already in demand in Arizona High Schools.



________________________________________________

June 6-13
Bravery Project Cruise
Want to take an amazing vacation to some of the most beautiful places on earth? Princess Cruises is donating a portion of the proceeds from a 7 day Caribbean cruise to Bravery Project. The more people come, the larger the donation. I will be presenting Bravery Project and producing an art piece for sale right on the ship. Contact Polly Waln at 480-753-6671.

This cruise is on sale with a deposit reduction during the month of August!

Some of the funds from this experience will pay for an invitation to Kolkata, India to produce art for New Light shelter in the heart of the Red Light District. With your help, Bravery Project can span across international borders.