History Does Rhyme

History is important part of understanding today. Unfortunately it's not cool to learn history in our fast paced society, so we repeat our errors or like Mark Twain wrote, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

An advocate recommended this book, Battered Wives, which was written in the early 70's when domestic violence was almost completely invisible to all pillars of society, yet running rampant like a hidden cancer, eating away at the nuclear family and legal and civil rights of victims. Although the book is full of stats and facts, it's a very interesting read.

I am aghast while reading about an advertisement in 1975 Vogue, "a fashion layout in which a couple was shown alternately fighting and caressing each other. In one photograph, the male model had just walloped the female model and her face was twisted in pain. .. It merely noted that the woman's jumpsuit could really take the heat." In 1973, Ms. magazine used the same ad for a bowling alley which said,"Have some fun. Beat your wife tonight. Then celebrate with some good food and drink with your friends." Something like this would simply not fly today, but then I remembered a mass email from earlier this year about a t-shirt being sold on Amazon.com that read "Anti-Abortion, but Pro-Date Rape."

How about the part in the book that talks about the Anthony Storr, Britains most literary psychiatrist, explaining that "The idea of being seized and borne off by a ruthless male who will wreak his sexual will upon his helpless victim has a universal appeal to the female sex." Okay, let's think about this: Oh yes, I would just love to have some big hairy, stinky stranger in a loin cloth, conk me over the head with a club and drag me by the hair into a cave where he gives me STD's and a bastard child. Gee sounds like fun doesn't it ladies? So I am wondering where in the world does this guy get his information, and he must not have been very lucky with the ladies; therefore, felt men must resort to control over an unwilling female in order to mate. Old school right?

Fast forward thirty-some years and I am greeted with a song over the radio from the band du jour, Hinder, called Get Stoned with lyrics about what a nut his girlfriend is because she is always yelling at him, so he tells her to "go home, get stoned, cause the sex is so much better when your mad at me...the breakup is worth the makeup sex your giving me." Okay, so he's not a stranger seizing her off, but it appears that instead of letting her go, he likes to exert his control over her sexually the most when she is angry and wants to leave him. She must like it best that way. Perhaps the healthy couple visited Storr for a couple of psychiatric sessions. Although ads like the jumpsuit and Storr's insightful perspective on female sexuality are unacceptable today, current media messages are not far off the mark.

In order to understand the deeper dynamics of the Power and Control in domestic abuse, one must learn more about history and the prominent beliefs of the day. I do not necessarily think badly about Vogue, Storr or Hinder because they are simply a product of cultural conditioning as we all are. It would be nice to simply tell people, "hitting your spouse is not okay" or "women enjoy romance as a prelude to sex rather than force" and they get the picture, but cultural change is needed and that means swimming against the tide from an ocean that is vast and deep.

Anthony Storr
Hinder's Get Stoned
Battered Wives

Change

The world is becoming a smaller place. This is a double edged sword with the Internet. In one hand, the information age we live in has created an interest in knowledge and information sharing that is a marvel. It's way more difficult to hide things from people, which in turn can lead to social changes in otherwise secluded areas or topics. On the other hand, misinformation and power struggles arise when people learn the wrong facts and/or strive for policy changes against a political machine that wants to keep status-quo. We see this all the time--even now with the presidential campaign.

When it comes to legislation, the fight is long and hard. Behind the scenes there are diligent individuals working to push new laws through that will hopefully better our lives as a people. Not only is it a long obstacle course, but there is usually someone in control who apposes the efforts, and many times with very little reason involved. Change is slow.


I've mentioned Rhonda Kamper in a previous posts. She is working on Henry's Law in Utah to pass a first felony offense for animal torture. Unfortunately, Henry's law did not pass. Among overwhelming support by the public and the House of Representatives, the bill was altered dramatically to include only companion dogs and cats as a third felony offense because of fears over treatment of farm animals. (If you want to see what happens to farm animals, check out Peta.) This is a baby step toward positive change and an example of why it takes forever for change to happen.

Another example is one of the volunteers in the Bravery project has been trying to pass the a law that strangulation is attempted murder and must be treated as a felony, not a misdemeanor. For four years, she has run up against a senator, for whatever reason, apposes the efforts. Change is slow.

If you don't know history, you should. There are lots of cool docudramas and fascinating stories to make history more interesting to learn. A common thread you will see is the dogma that sticks to the policies that govern. One of my favorite examples is William Wilberforce, the abolitionist who was a Member of Parliament in England back in the 18th century. At this time, the African slave trade was in it's prime. The UK, Europe, American economy were strongly dependent on the slave labor force, nevermind the unbelievable cruelty involved. William worked tenaciously year after year to pass an antislave trade motion. It took him 18 years. The motion abolished the slave trade, but did not free those already enslaved. This was a giant leap, but much more needed to be done.

Fighting for human and animal rights, for some reason, has always been a long struggle, but one worth the effort and time. In our era, we are fortunate enough to have information tools and stronger freedoms to express our unrest, yet there is still a lot of work to be done for basic and obvious changes that should have already been in place for such a "civilized society."

Be empowered by learning lessons in history; we have no excuse with information at a click of a mouse. Don't give up the good fight; keep the pressure on those stubborn bureaucrats. Get involved and use your voice; talk openly about issues and VOTE this year. Eventually positive changes will happen.


Henry's Law
Amazing Grace
Implications of Historical Ignorance
Herstory of Domestic Violence: A Timeline of the Battered Women's Movement