Excluding Men

Domestic abuse and homicide is not just about women and girls. It is a human/animal rights issue, NOT a gender issue or specifically feminist issue as most people believe. With Bravery, the idea is to show inclusiveness to all through the stories and artwork; however, I can't compete with the videos you are about to view.

Unfortunately, the people who believe this problem IS a female one, do not realize how they are hurting their own efforts by excluding half the population. Don't women, even today, accuse men of the same exclusions? You can look at the numbers anywhere and see that women are domestic abuse victims more than men; however, how can we be sure the percentages are correct? We can't. Those who work in the movement understand that the stats are low for various reasons. As a taboo subject, it would certainly be the same for men.

Before we think of domestic abuse as anything; we have to remember that it isn't about the victim, it's about the power and control. Before anyone balks, I do realize historical mysogeny and sexual objectification has led to horrible treatment of women, and it's only been since the 70's (my lifetime) that shelters in Arizona began to emerge, but the tides are slowly turning. If it's still "a man's world" out there, then it behooves the movement even more to include everyone.

This video is not the best sound quality, but can be verified as it was played on national television.




This video is very telling in the cultural beliefs and shortsightedness of both men and women regarding men as domestic abuse victims.

MEnding Monologues

Domestic Violence is a woman's problem. A common belief that completely alienates the male population and leaves the female half to "fix" the problem with very little resource and support. In fact some people actually try to work AGAINST her efforts to create change. It's true that a majority of women's rights have come to fruition through tenacious work of women like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns as portrayed in the Iron Jawed Angels; however, there are moments when both genders work together and speak with one voice.


What if we could delve a little more into the minds of the men who are touched by violence against women? How would a father feel about finding out his beloved daughter was a victim of abuse? How would a friend deal with the knowledge that a guy he knew well had date raped a close female friend in college? Many men, like the victims, are silent about abuse towards women. This type of frustration is what led to the MEnding Monologues.

Inspired by Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues, Derek Dujardin was inspired to speak out against violence towards women, but with a male perspective. Yet another example of the wonderful way that art can help make a difference. Here is an excerpt from his website:

According to Dujardin, there is a ripple effect to violence. What he calls “second-hand abuse” or collateral damage done to men via the abuse done to the women in their lives. When a woman experiences abuse, her father, friends, lovers, brothers, husbands and sons—are also affected in many ways. Unfortunately, men don’t talk about these wounds and their feelings of disempowerment around violence. They ignore them, they stuff them. As a result, women think that men just don’t care.

Derek even took his all male performance to the V-Day celebrity performance in New Orleans this year and got to meet Eve Ensler and has her full support. He and his troupe are telling the world that violence towards women is also a man's problem, helping to break the silence on both sides. Yes!

We don't see much from the male side about their thoughts and efforts to end domestic violence, especially if they were abused themselves; however, I did find a slew of websites that prove there are men in history and currently out there today working together on the same page. Here is a very small sampling.

The Mending Monologues
Male Support of Female Suffrage Movement
Strong Men Don't Bully
Men Ending Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Texas
Men Against Domestic Violence