Wheel of Power and Control

It's no secret that several religious practices help to perpetuate domestic violence. It's also no secret that there has been a lot of press about female abuse by some who practice the Islamic religion. I am not here to criticize Islam as I know some wonderful people who are Muslim. I wanted to write about this because I ran across the Muslim Wheel of Domestic Violence and found it to be worth mentioning.

Dr. Sharifa Alkhateeb was a hero for the civil rights of Muslim people in the US, particularly women and the issue of domestic violence. She spent forty years of her life dedicated to raising awareness and research before passing away in 2004 from cancer. I had never heard of her until now and many of you may not have either, but someone you know could benefit from her work.

Take a look at the Wheel of Power and Control and then the one created by Sharifa. The Muslim wheel has interesting specifics.

The wheel is an excellent visual way of explaining what domestic violence is and has literally helped people see the light. Apparently, there are several versions of this wheel that have been adapted to various lifestyles. In the end it's all the same message: Power and Control.

I encourage you to download and make copies of this wheel and share it with people. When someone asks about domestic violence or mentions what they think it is, show them the wheel to help them visualize. If the statistic is true that 1 in 3 females will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, then keeping small copies of the wheel in your belongings may come in handy some day.

You never know who will come out of the wood work and tell you she or someone needs help. Last evening, to her surprise, a family member discovered someone she knew was suffering from severe physical abuse and needed to find a place to stay. Fortunately, this family member came to me for advice on what to do. I forwarded several shelters and hot line numbers for this survivor and her children to get help.

Being involved in the cause for domestic violence awareness and prevention, it's easy to forget that the good work organizations are doing out there is not very visible, even to those who still suffer. Having some information handy, like the Wheel of Power and Control along with some hotline/shelter numbers on our person may become a possible life saver to someone in need. If anything, it makes for enlightening conversation to those who are ignorant about domestic violence and hide behind institutional beliefs, whether it be cultural, religious or otherwise. Who knows. The ripple effect of such conversations could some day save a life too.


Wheel of Power and Control Adaptations
Peaceful Families Project
Domestic Violence: An Islamic Perspective
Muslim Wheel of Domestic Violence
New York Times covers Muslim domestic violence in the US

braveryproject.org

The official Bravery website is now up, but still under construction. Although I will be working on it for the next few days, it's close enough to change your links and share the new site with people. I plan to add more content about domestic violence and where to get help in addition to volunteer needs. The logo isn't quite ready, but will be very soon. Feel free to provide feedback. We'll know in a few months whether the site will become permanent. Less than four months till showdown!


I've been telling people about the wonderful product that microsoft.com has provided called Office Live. I am using the basic package for both of my websites that includes free hosting and a one year free domain registration domain. The program is very easy to use--no code. Thank goodness because I wrote almost all the code for another website, rwalkerdds.com, including the writing and all graphics from scratch. That is very time consuming for one person. With MS Office Live, a template and some creativity is all that is needed.

Once you get your business off the ground and need to add more interactivity, MS Office Live provides additional products, like internet marketing and online purchasing features that you can buy as upgrades. So far, so good. People tease Microsoft about buggy programs, but I've had vflorschuetz.com with them for almost a year and have had little problems. Any that I've had were corrected immediately.

In case you are wondering, no I am not being paid by Microsoft for this plug. Not a bad idea though!

Marketing

Collaboration is a great thing. After working on Bravery for the past eight months, I ran across someone who has the experience and the time to volunteer her expertise on graphic design, marketing, and event coordination. Several other people have also assisted when they could (thank you) and we will continue to ask for your help. A big lesson for me in this journey is that I can't do everything and when I try, some things come out average when someone else could do it way better. Another valuable lesson is that I can run on tangents of seemingly great ideas. There are so many wonderful ways to use Bravery that it's easy to become overzealous and lose focus on the first steps. I always like to think big.

With that said, Bravery Project, Inc. is getting an official logo and it's own website. The plan is to have them ready in about a week, so I will be moving Bravery from vflorschuetz.com to braveryproject.org. There will still be a link on the old website to the new one. Once this step is complete, we are moving forward with a press release package and contacting different media avenues.

There are only four months left before the show and still many things to do. I will ask any of you who are interested in volunteering and have the time to please email me on what tasks that you can help with. In a couple of weeks, I will contact you and coordinate details.

Here are ways you can help:

• Research information as needed, i.e. marketing, accounting details, sponsors, grants,etc.
• Internet marketing
  
• Contact corporate sponsors for monetary/inkind donations.
  
• Hand out art exhibit cards/flyers/posters--the reception/show information to pass out to people. This could be simply sharing with family and friends at church, your job, or school.
  
• Raffle donations--talk to store managers and ask for a raffle donation.
• Volunteer for reception--need people for various tasks, i.e. donation table, etc.
• Share your ideas on anything--I am ALWAYS willing to listen.

Bravery Book - The First Year

An idea has been rattling around inside my head for a few weeks. The portraits garner such attention when people see what they are about, why not bring them from the website and into people's physical hands. Yes, I am talking about a book. I am talking about the full fledged first year of Bravery in color. What an excellent way to reach out to more people about the cause and continue to bring the positive influence of recovery.

A few things need to happen before the book can be pitched to a publisher:

A revised model waiver has been created that must be signed by all the earlier people in the program. It covers publishing and a couple of other things like you are 18 years old and of sound mind to sign the release, meaning I didn't drug you or win a bet to get you to sign up. Please contact me about this if you are interested.

I will need someone who is important to write a forward. This is a crucial key in marketing the book to publishers and to the public. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone like Oprah, Tina Turner, Farah Faucett, someone famous and influential who understands first hand about domestic violence. Send any ideas on this as I am sure there are many people that could be approached.

Another idea is a book of abused animals with essays. Something like this would be helpful for people like Rhonda who started helpushelpthem.org. I really enjoyed making Henry's portrait. When working on these pieces, it feels like I am getting to the know the person or the pet as I try to capture their personality or through physical expression and artistic license.


FYI: In 1964 the Haven House was the first shelter in the US to assist abused women and children. They educate youth about domestic violence and led a two day workshop at a highschool that included an art competition. Below is the link to the one day show. Check it out!
It's Not Okay - Teen Dating Violence Art Exhibit

MEnding Monologues

Domestic Violence is a woman's problem. A common belief that completely alienates the male population and leaves the female half to "fix" the problem with very little resource and support. In fact some people actually try to work AGAINST her efforts to create change. It's true that a majority of women's rights have come to fruition through tenacious work of women like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns as portrayed in the Iron Jawed Angels; however, there are moments when both genders work together and speak with one voice.


What if we could delve a little more into the minds of the men who are touched by violence against women? How would a father feel about finding out his beloved daughter was a victim of abuse? How would a friend deal with the knowledge that a guy he knew well had date raped a close female friend in college? Many men, like the victims, are silent about abuse towards women. This type of frustration is what led to the MEnding Monologues.

Inspired by Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues, Derek Dujardin was inspired to speak out against violence towards women, but with a male perspective. Yet another example of the wonderful way that art can help make a difference. Here is an excerpt from his website:

According to Dujardin, there is a ripple effect to violence. What he calls “second-hand abuse” or collateral damage done to men via the abuse done to the women in their lives. When a woman experiences abuse, her father, friends, lovers, brothers, husbands and sons—are also affected in many ways. Unfortunately, men don’t talk about these wounds and their feelings of disempowerment around violence. They ignore them, they stuff them. As a result, women think that men just don’t care.

Derek even took his all male performance to the V-Day celebrity performance in New Orleans this year and got to meet Eve Ensler and has her full support. He and his troupe are telling the world that violence towards women is also a man's problem, helping to break the silence on both sides. Yes!

We don't see much from the male side about their thoughts and efforts to end domestic violence, especially if they were abused themselves; however, I did find a slew of websites that prove there are men in history and currently out there today working together on the same page. Here is a very small sampling.

The Mending Monologues
Male Support of Female Suffrage Movement
Strong Men Don't Bully
Men Ending Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Texas
Men Against Domestic Violence