Write it Down!

I am a big fan of collaboration because every single human mind is unique and has something special to offer the world. Years ago when studying biology, I learned that all human brains, even in identical twins, develop individual neurological pathways to create a one-of-a-kind piece of biological machinery that can never be duplicated or replaced by technology. That is why each and every single person on this planet is special and unique and should not be thought of as numbers but as individuals with gifts and potential. Because of this, it's a sad fact that our wonderful minds get messages mixed up from degenerative nerve disease or refuse to recall data when we need and want the information in the tangible world.

One of the survivors from the Bravery series works in a rehabilitation and care facility for people who suffer from neurological disease and explained that the brain is just like a muscle and must be exercised to keep it strong. Of course I forgot to ask what kind of exercise because my brain seems to be switched on all the time, but continues to malfunction periodically throughout the day. I recently put some paper in the refrigerator, my purse under the bathroom sink, and sailed right past my freeway exit, extending my driving time by fifteen minutes. I think that's called autopilot, where some alien being is choosing random thoughts in my head with a remote control. Anyway, where was I?

Thank goodness for pen and paper. I would be lost without my planner, computer notes and email. Writing down important events is not only a time saver for the absent minded, like myself, but it can be a saver for a domestic violence victim.

A wonderful survivor, I just met today, explained that her experience with domestic violence cases in the courtroom showed a real discrepancy in evidence against an abuser. The battered spouse comes to testify with the story written on her body in bruises. Yes that is proof, but it's not enough.

I've heard the legal system is a travesty, but it doesn't have to be. After serving on two juries, I conclude that it's in part the quality of the attorney and judge, but mostly about evidence and how it's portrayed. We are a visual culture, but also a culture of documentation. We want things in writing as proof that an agreement between two parties took place. We want documentation that our hours of work were done and the paid. In a courtroom, everything is documented by a court reporter for several reasons and one of them is recall. Sometimes the reporter must read a previous question or answer in order to prove a point.

People who continue to suffer domestic violence should do the same. It will not cross their minds when the abuse happens or when they are in the midst of the chaos of leaving, but they must be told to document everything they can remember. Times, dates, events, and something that can be proven, such as what TV or radio show was on during the experience. Write it Down!

The legal system can only do so much with what is given to them for evidence and as a plaintiff or a community we can't expect them to make all the decisions we believe is fair without providing something for them to use. When you come across someone who still suffers, listen first, show them the Wheel of Power and Control, give them numbers to call for help, and tell them to document everything. It's the least we can do.