Ideas for the New Year

It's hard to believe that this blog has been going on for over a year now. Blogs are such a great way to share your thoughts and learn from other people. Thanks so much to all of you who continue to read mine and follow me on the journey of Bravery Project. So much as happened in the past year and lots of great projects are planned for the next. I will give you a sneek peak into what's in store and also some informative websites that you may find useful as you set your New Year's goals.

Here is what 2009 has in store for Bravery Project and for you as a supporter.

• In the next month you will see a website redesign for Bravery Project that will look better, be more intactive, and easier to maneuver for artwork.
• Additions to the merchandise page.
• A membership area that will provide discounts of event tickets, artwork, portrait commissions, merchandise and a quarterly newsletter/magazine, interviews, video and more.
• A quarterly newsletter that will feature a survivor success story, legal and medical advice, resource lists, articles that unify the domestic violence movement and more. This will be available to Bravery members and will eventually turn into a full blown magazine.
• Bravery Project Scholarships to a survivor (or two) working hard for a better life.
• Bravery coffee table book--proposals are being sent to publishers currently.
• Evening of the Arts--special event coming later in the year that you can't miss!

Come with me!

Now for some websites that you may find interesting and helpful as you set your new goals this year:

America's Cheapest Family (Great ideas to save money in tough times.)

Larry Winget: The Pitbull of Personal Development (Great kick in the pants to meet your goals.)

Cathe: Do something different every workout and see the results (Great workouts; like having a personal trainer in your home.)

Real Age: Live Life to the Youngest (Great website to learn more about health.)

Kim Komando: America's Digital Goddess (Great syndicated radio show and website for computer geeks like me.)

ENJOY and HAPPY 2009!!!!

Merry Holidays and Happy Christmas

Tim and I went out with another couple this evening for a bite to eat and were teasing our server about saying "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." Turns out she was snapped at by a customer for saying "Merry Christmas." So to play it safe and not offend anyone, she would say "Happy Holidays" from then on. I found that a bit sad because it really shouldn't matter. Why couldn't I say "Merry Christmas" and have someone wish me a "Happy Hannukah?" What difference does it make? We are all celebrating the same holiday season with the intention of spending it with loved ones and exchanging gifts (unless you are a Jehovah Witness). The fact that a person would even be offended by someone wishing them a Merry Christmas is beyond me.

Don't let people's short mindedness bully you into saying what THEY want you to say. If you want to wish them a "Happy Kwanza," then do it! If you want to say it in a different language like, "Mele Kalikimaka" from Hawaii, then say it! How would we react to someone who rudely corrected us to say "Happy Day" when we told them "Good Morning". It would seem silly if not absurd.

Remember that this is a free country, so to heck with narrow minded people and bah humbug to political correctness and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS !

57 Ways to say Merry Christmas

Calling Christmas By It's Name

Some Origins of Holiday Greetings

Excluding Men

Domestic abuse and homicide is not just about women and girls. It is a human/animal rights issue, NOT a gender issue or specifically feminist issue as most people believe. With Bravery, the idea is to show inclusiveness to all through the stories and artwork; however, I can't compete with the videos you are about to view.

Unfortunately, the people who believe this problem IS a female one, do not realize how they are hurting their own efforts by excluding half the population. Don't women, even today, accuse men of the same exclusions? You can look at the numbers anywhere and see that women are domestic abuse victims more than men; however, how can we be sure the percentages are correct? We can't. Those who work in the movement understand that the stats are low for various reasons. As a taboo subject, it would certainly be the same for men.

Before we think of domestic abuse as anything; we have to remember that it isn't about the victim, it's about the power and control. Before anyone balks, I do realize historical mysogeny and sexual objectification has led to horrible treatment of women, and it's only been since the 70's (my lifetime) that shelters in Arizona began to emerge, but the tides are slowly turning. If it's still "a man's world" out there, then it behooves the movement even more to include everyone.

This video is not the best sound quality, but can be verified as it was played on national television.




This video is very telling in the cultural beliefs and shortsightedness of both men and women regarding men as domestic abuse victims.

History Does Rhyme

History is important part of understanding today. Unfortunately it's not cool to learn history in our fast paced society, so we repeat our errors or like Mark Twain wrote, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

An advocate recommended this book, Battered Wives, which was written in the early 70's when domestic violence was almost completely invisible to all pillars of society, yet running rampant like a hidden cancer, eating away at the nuclear family and legal and civil rights of victims. Although the book is full of stats and facts, it's a very interesting read.

I am aghast while reading about an advertisement in 1975 Vogue, "a fashion layout in which a couple was shown alternately fighting and caressing each other. In one photograph, the male model had just walloped the female model and her face was twisted in pain. .. It merely noted that the woman's jumpsuit could really take the heat." In 1973, Ms. magazine used the same ad for a bowling alley which said,"Have some fun. Beat your wife tonight. Then celebrate with some good food and drink with your friends." Something like this would simply not fly today, but then I remembered a mass email from earlier this year about a t-shirt being sold on Amazon.com that read "Anti-Abortion, but Pro-Date Rape."

How about the part in the book that talks about the Anthony Storr, Britains most literary psychiatrist, explaining that "The idea of being seized and borne off by a ruthless male who will wreak his sexual will upon his helpless victim has a universal appeal to the female sex." Okay, let's think about this: Oh yes, I would just love to have some big hairy, stinky stranger in a loin cloth, conk me over the head with a club and drag me by the hair into a cave where he gives me STD's and a bastard child. Gee sounds like fun doesn't it ladies? So I am wondering where in the world does this guy get his information, and he must not have been very lucky with the ladies; therefore, felt men must resort to control over an unwilling female in order to mate. Old school right?

Fast forward thirty-some years and I am greeted with a song over the radio from the band du jour, Hinder, called Get Stoned with lyrics about what a nut his girlfriend is because she is always yelling at him, so he tells her to "go home, get stoned, cause the sex is so much better when your mad at me...the breakup is worth the makeup sex your giving me." Okay, so he's not a stranger seizing her off, but it appears that instead of letting her go, he likes to exert his control over her sexually the most when she is angry and wants to leave him. She must like it best that way. Perhaps the healthy couple visited Storr for a couple of psychiatric sessions. Although ads like the jumpsuit and Storr's insightful perspective on female sexuality are unacceptable today, current media messages are not far off the mark.

In order to understand the deeper dynamics of the Power and Control in domestic abuse, one must learn more about history and the prominent beliefs of the day. I do not necessarily think badly about Vogue, Storr or Hinder because they are simply a product of cultural conditioning as we all are. It would be nice to simply tell people, "hitting your spouse is not okay" or "women enjoy romance as a prelude to sex rather than force" and they get the picture, but cultural change is needed and that means swimming against the tide from an ocean that is vast and deep.

Anthony Storr
Hinder's Get Stoned
Battered Wives

Bravery Merchandise and More

In efforts to raise money to continue the portrait series for Bravery, I am introducing a new segment of Bravery Project, Inc. This page that will begin with this modest list of merchandise and will hopefully continue to grow over the next year. Being the creative person that I am, I started a card series that will begin with a holiday design and one Bravery portrait (Henry's Story). Eventually there will be several types with uplifting messages, seasonal, and some of my artwork on the custom cards that you can enjoy as one of a kind. I will take requests for special designs that you can use for your nonprofit gency or as personal cards as well. I do have card items in stock, but you can order them and I will get them out to you within a week.

Bravery Project tshirts and autographed mugs are available now and over time, I will introduce some really fun sassy apparel that will show everyone that survivors ROCK! There will also be the option to put my artwork onto clothing by request.


The Merchandise page is not exclusive to Bravery Merchandise. I am leaving it open to other business who want to provide quality products to sell via my website. The only thing I ask is a small percentage of proceeds given to Bravery Project. I continue to get quite a nice chunk of traffic via the web and hope to expand the merchandise page to not only help my organization, but others who need to raise funds as well. If you are interested, let me know.

Domestic Abuse and Child Prostitution

The more I learn about human rights issues, the more I see needs to be done. It's truly amazing how many battles you can pick from and then spend a lifetime bringing awareness and change. One that really lights my hair on fire is human trafficking. The more you understand about this pandemic, the more you can also see how issues are connected together.

The other night, while feeling ill with a mild fever and cold symptoms, I watched a couple of documentaries on "Slave Girls in India" and then "Teen Prostitutes or Sex Victims?" back to back by the same filmmaker, Lisa Ling. These are both films about female minors being stolen, manipulated and trapped into slave labor. It's interesting to watch how India and the U.S. handle the issue of the human trafficking of minors in this situation. Human trafficking is a HUGE problem around the world and very little is done about it. If our government can find Saddam Hussein hiding in a hole in the middle of the desert, then why can't we find and stop the traffickers of slave labor? The answer is...we can. The long answer is that there is very little legal or system support in place for these girls once they are involved in these situations. Once again, people have to care and some do.

What really struck me was the unbelievable lack of support for minor girls who are found prostituting in the United States. According to a special police task force in New York (you can learn about them in the film), 90% of the girls come from sexually abusive homes. They run away and end up with a male predator who takes them in, displaying the "love and care" they so desperately want, which inevitably ends up forcing them into prostitution. The average start age is 12-14 and once they are in, they can't get out. The relationship between a prostitute and her pimp is parallel to a domestic abuse situation between spouses or domestic partners. She gets no money for her work, she is beaten and raped, she is emotionally and mentally battered and utterly reliant on her pimp for everything, and then her life is threatened if she tries to leave. Sound familiar?

According to the documentary, once this 8th grader is caught for prostitution, she is treated like a criminal. The difference between how the law treats rape and prostitution is based on the exchange of money. Nice. Additionally, there are virtually no safe homes or therapy programs for girls in this situation and just like domestic abuse victims, many times they have little assistance and end up back in the same hell.

I am struck by the fact that these are children and this is human trafficking, domestic abuse, pedafilia, and wrong wrong wrong on so many levels, yet the issue remains invisible and couched in myth. So what can we do? Bring awareness to start. Check out Lisa Ling's website and read her blog on this issue. Tell others. Explain the parallel with domestic abuse and think about how you can incorporate efforts into this along with what you are doing now.

Lisa Ling's Website
Child Exploitation in the USA: Not Just a Problem for Developing Nations
Police arrest 600 in child prostitution crackdown
childrenofthenight.org (nonprofit working to help children)
National Geographic: 21st Century Slaves
Us Dept of State: 2003 Human Trafficking Report

Preaching to the Chior

One of the biggest issues surrounding domestic violence efforts, and there are many, is the "preaching to the choir" problem. After attending many events over the past several months, I notice the same people over and over. Don't get me wrong, I love to see these wonderful human beings; however, in order to make cultural change, our efforts need to break out of the advocacy circle and into the general populace.

Today, I attended the forum meeting for the Purple Ribbon Study Circle pilot program to see the outcome, and of course bring the Bravery portraits to share. After all the groups around the valley presented their study circle results, we ended up with three main focuses: Education, Awareness, and System Changes. Nothing new here. The pilot stats also showed that most of the participants were also staff/advocates or survivors in the field. Nothing new again. Nonetheless, it was a wonderful beginning with lots of fertile ideas and passion, which is what this movement needs.

As my Monty Python heroes like to say, "And now for something completely different". I will begin some change in the language I use to promote Bravery. In order to be more inclusive of the many issues about domestic violence, I will start calling it domestic abuse. How will this make a difference? Public perception by rebranding the issue.


Here is a nice concise definition of abuse from answers.com:
Abuse is defined as any thing that is harmful, injurious, or offensive. Abuse also includes excessive and wrongful misuse of anything. There are several major types of abuse: physical and sexual abuse of a child or an adult, substance abuse, elderly abuse, and emotional abuse. (let's not forget animals too.)

Now the noun definition of domestic violence from answers.com:
Violence toward or physical abuse of one's spouse or domestic partner.

I noticed that Donna Bartos, the founder of the Purple Ribbon Council and Study Circles, uses this language. She brought up good points about how words are portrayed with cultural beliefs. As advocates, we know that domestic violence isn't just physical abuse among spouses, but most people still see that very definition. Domestic abuse has a broader meaning that encompasses any domestic or familiar situation in it's relation to any form of abuse, which encompasses all types of individuals no matter age, race, history, gender, or leg count (pets). As one small step for human/animal rights, I encourage you to join me in this vernacular.

Purple Ribbon Study Circles

Abuse defined (all on one page)

VOCA Part 2

Unfortunately, many people who suffer from domestic abuse and sexual assault turn to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain of what is happening to them and easily develop a dependency. When they finally muddle through the chaos to get help, they were turned away from ALL the shelters because of substance abuse.

One courageous lady saw this gap in victim services and decided to take action. My kind of person! She founded the National Advocacy and Training Network and Support Education Empowerment DirectionS ( NATN and SEEDS), which addresses the health, safety, economic and social justice issues related to domestic violence, sexual assault and substance abuse through education, public awareness and direct services. In the SEEDS program, safe homes are provided for women to live in while they rebuild their lives. Whew! a tall order that needs, well... lots of money.

Besides writing grant proposals that don't guarantee results and asking for donations, said founder discovered a new way...a better way. In a previous post, I talked about the reduced funding in the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) and how one nonprofit agency has an innovative business model to help bring in funding while keeping with the mission of the service they provide. How are they doing this? By making a cup of joe.

Introducing Cup O' Karma Community Cafe for a Cause or COK for short and formally known as Into the Bean. For about a buck, this prosperous coffee house and popular college hangout was donated to NATN/SEEDs and has become a role model for nonprofit agencies across the country. To simplify things, COK brings in almost pure profit because there is no payroll. Employees are either volunteers or women from the SEEDS program. The SEEDS ladies get job training skills that help them build resumes. Most of the profit from COK goes back into funding NATN/SEEDS. Since the cafe is already established and makes fantastic mango smoothies, chocolate lattes, and awesome green tea fusions all served up with a warm smile, it's a win-win for everyone.

This is the kind of smart business model that produces sustainability for everyone: the nonprofit agency to keep services growing, the job skills for survivors to become financially independent, the caffeine and yummy concoctions to please customer demands--all through the free enterprise system rather than the political or donation system. Everyone involved contributes, not because they have to, but because they want to--talk about spreading the wealth around!




VOCA

COK (Into the Bean)

NATN/SEEDS

Purple Ribbon Study Circles

One of the best ways to solve a problem is to collaborate with different people. Although we might be experts in our own field or experience about a topic, nothing beats a think-tank. This type of collaboration is a democratic method that includes brainstorming, sharing ideas, countering ideas in a respectful way, choosing the best solutions for a particular problem as a group. This is good practice for an opinionated person like myself.

After attending four weeks of two hour sessions at Dolce Spa and Salon, I have to say that the Purple Ribbon Study Circle was fabulous. The program is sponsored by the Morrison Institute and is in the pilot stage to determine whether it is effective and will continue forward. Information in the manual was put together based on general information people believe about domestic violence.

The objective is to get as many community members together as possible to learn about domestic abuse and how to solve the plethora of issues it brings to the community. Brilliant.

Our group consisted of survivors of domestic violence, advocates, counselors, community members --some without much knowledge about the issue. It was a nice mix that brought new and fresh information to the table. We had a couple of males in the group that gave interesting perspectives as well.

Here are a couple of things I learned at our study circle:
Based on an advocate who works for the police department, statistics show that DV Abusers fit the same measurable pattern of behavior as child predators, but the victims do not fit any pattern, which means they CAN be anyone.

Based on an attending survivor, telling EVERYONE you can that your abuser is a jerk makes a huge difference in how much support you get. It's not just the police or family, it's talking to your boss, the neighbors, people you see frequently, i.e. grocery store, dry cleaners.

There is a final report meeting on November 15th in which results from all the study circles will be presented in which yours truly will be attending. I can't wait to see what solutions everyone came up with.

If the program continues, and I am pretty confident it will, this opportunity is free and open to anyone who wants to be part of the solution of domestic abuse.


Morrison Institute

Purple Ribbon Council

Purple Ribbon Study Circles

VOCA

I just got back from a fundraiser luncheon for Jewish Family and Children Services, specifically to benefit Shelter Without Walls program. While munching on some tasty food, I learned about a major funding cut from the Federal government's VOCA (Victims of Crime Act) fund as of this year forward, which affected Shelter Without Walls as well as many other organizations that help victims of violence crime in many areas. I won't go into all the details of the funding cuts, but you can read about them here.

VOCA money comes from Federal criminal fines rather than tax payer dollars and it was very easy to find thousands of websites complaining about the cut, but not many explaining the reason for decrease. At first I thought, "Hey, maybe there are finally less criminals!" and I got all excited, but then thought, "Wait, maybe they just aren't paying their fines...they are criminals after all. Could the judicial system be prosecuting less?" But then an ugly thought entered my head,"Uh-oh, perhaps the money is going somewhere else".

Based on claims I've found online, the money is being used to offset deficit spending, which seems to be a generic term that can mean pretty much anything at this historical period in time. Across the virtual country, alarms are going off that VOCA money, promised to victims of violent crime, won't be available anymore to current programs as of 2010. Personally, I think the set up of VOCA for its correct purpose is brilliant and the loss of funds is morally wrong; however, there is always a silver lining if you look hard enough.

Not to be a Pollyanna, but first, I really don't think our government is that heartless to leave victims without resources and I doubt the public would stand for it. Second, we are fortunate enough to live in a country with freedom to create and direct what and where our programs are going and how they are funded. A return to grassroots efforts and sizing down could be a good thing to stimulate passions for a cause, run things more efficiently, and think outside the box for fundraising and operations. For instance: some nonprofits are so massive, they are middle-management between organizations and the public. (Yes you should always check to see how much of your hard earned donations are actually going to the people who need the services) Sounds a little corporate, yes? Another example: some organizations are pretty top heavy in management and could use a bit o' weight loss. From my own experience, running a nonprofit is still running a business and it takes money to operate, staff, and expand. I wouldn't know much as I have worked and saved to fund Bravery Project, but now that I am looking for external funding sources, I can see how frustrating this money problem can become.

I feel tremendously for those organizations who scrape by on Federal matches and grants that are slowly dwindling to dust. Obtaining donations is difficult too because everyone is suffering economically right now, but there is a business model that is working brilliantly for one organization. I'll tell you about in a later post. Here's a hint: Free Enterprise.

VOCA
Shelter Without Walls
Rueters:President Bush Requests Funding Cuts That Endanger Domestic Violence Victims

Reception and Updates

For those of you who made it last week to the Bravery Reception at Fresh Start, thank you! It was a very long day of hanging artwork, preparing food, setup, and nerves. Overall, a great success in my book with one exception: Due to running the event, I didn't get to spend much time with the visitors, especially the Bravery survivors. Now that I have experience behind the scenes at these events, the next time will certainly be easier and better.

The people who volunteered to help me were absolutely wonderful. The speakers, Faustine Chan and Lisa Kim, did great and Maria Elena Ochoa is a warm and very nice individual with an amazing track record for helping the underpriviledged groups of the community. I was so honored to have her there. She even presented Bravery with a proclamation signed by Governor Janet Napolitano, testifying that our elected officials do pay attention to our efforts to help others. It may not seem like it sometimes, but everything we do makes a difference and especially when we try to make work easier by taking action in the community.

If you didn't make it to the reception and want to see the artwork, 20 pieces will be on display until the 24th of October and 9 pieces are in the MCC Library lobby until the 31st of Oct.

Updates

We are slowly getting in some donations, but not much. We are less than 20% of our donation goal unfortunately, but the state of the economy is working against all fundraising efforts everywhere. A little something is better than nothing.

You may have noticed that the online auction items have dwindled off in part due to companies backing out of donations at this time and due to Ebay policies on gift certificates. Currently, one item is a portrait of yourself for a fraction of what it would normally cost. Next week will conclude the final listing, so take a look.

There are some very exciting projects coming down the pike that you are sure to enjoy, so please stay with me as I resume this blog and continue to think and work creatively.

DV Awareness Activities

There are lots of events happening now that Domestic Violence Awareness has begun.

One event that I must mention was the Herberger showing of Domestic Violence...the Musical? Since working with John and Linda King, I was very excited to see the performance on Sept. 22nd and it was awesome. Please take a look at the website and the photos from that show. I strongly encourage you to bring this one hour enlightenment to your community. It's one of the most powerful ways to teach people "why she doesn't just leave".



A very fun event that Bravery had the opportunity to participate in was the Girls Night Out at Dolce Salon and Spa, Arrowhead location in Peoria. What a fun night that was. Little did I know that we would be hosted at a three story building with a live band on top with wine and food, musician at the first floor with spa services, and a Bravery gallery on the second floor. It was a wonderful evening with a program featuring Ali Vincent, the first female winner, of the hit TV show The Biggest Loser.

Although the evening sports lots of girly activity, GNO is important because it raises money for programs that provide shelter and services to victims. So far there are 12 of them happening this month around the country. Way to Go!

Coming up next Monday is the Mesa Community College Domestic Violence Awareness Conference that you all should definitely visit. Visit the webpage that features the program with all the workshops and keynote. This is going to be a knockout experience. It's a community event open to the everyone and I guarantee you will learn something new and interesting about domestic violence. Additionally, 9 of the original portraits from Bravery are on display in the lobby of the Paul Elsner Library throughout October.


I have decided to add a little more to my plate and participate in the Purple Ribbon Study Circles that was created by the Purple Ribbon Councel. This is a pilot program in which community and industry people come together for one meeting a week for one month and discuss the issues about domestic violence and how to help solve them. YES! It takes only a couple of hours a week and refreshments are provided. I will write about this more in upcoming posts as it's an important tool for problem solving. If you are interested in more information about it and want to participate, please email Sowmya Ayyer.

Speaking of which, stay tuned because after the events are over, I will be sharing a lot of new useful information gleaned from all of these activities. In the meantime, I hope to see you.

Faith and Fire

Sometimes the stars seem to align for us. We become determined to take action, go through the motions and before we know it, success. That faith and fire inside can propel us to do amazing things and that is just how I would describe the Art Salon for a Cause.

People left the salon enlightened, disturbed, encouraged, and supportive of domestic violence issues. A few survivors came out of the DV closet and shared their stories with me and one woman in crisis came to me for help, which she is getting. Bravery is working.

Our three day event managed to pull over 160 people who enjoyed wonderful live music, delicious gourmet (even homemade) food, and beautiful art in every room of the 5,500 sq foot luxury home. We had wonderful sponsors, volunteers, and we received media attention from the East Valley Tribune, AZ Republic, The Wrangler News, KJZZ radio, East Valley Radio Station, and all the other websites that helped promote our event. Most amazing to me is the $1,500 in scholarship money from the silent auction.

Earlier this week, Bravery cohosted the Arts and Advocates reception at Cup O' Karma (formally Into the Bean) and awarded the very first Bravery Scholarship to Melissa Nudi. She is a mom, DV survivor, and an MCC student who plans to enter the medical field. Bravery raised $500 and MCC matched the funds to give her $1,000. I am a huge advocate of education and am so honored to help another person in this capacity and Melissa is a perfect example of what Bravery is all about.

The other scholarship will be given through Tempe Dollars for Scholars and will go to a Tempe High School student to attend college. Currently, we are working on candidates and will announce him/her in the coming months. I would very much like the Bravery Scholarship to become a staple of the program because an education is one of the keys to a better life and has become more expensive (college credit prices have doubled in the past decade).

I've been getting emails about the online auction through Ebay Giving Works and I will admit that many of the wonderful donations were sold in the silent auction, but the online auction will resume next week. If you have something you would like to contribute on behalf of Bravery to help us reach our goal, please feel free to participate. If you haven't already, you can subscribe to the auction blog to stay updated on coming items.

Most importantly, please share Bravery with others by sending them links to the website, subscribe to the blog, donate, and bid online. Together we can make a difference...all it takes is a little faith and fire!

Art Salon for a Cause

Next week Bravery is coordinating and running the first Art Salon for a Cause. This event came as a wonderful opportunity for bringing domestic violence awareness and showcasing ALL 29 portraits from the Bravery series.

I am so pleased to be sharing this event with two amazing professional and successful artists, Jim Covarrubias and Ralph Brekan. We are all benefiting charities with the art sales and donations collected onsite.

Furthermore there will be live music each day, refreshments, and tons of beautiful artwork to look at in an amazing multimillion dollar home in the Trovita private, gated community. This event is FREE admission and to top it off a Bravery Silent Auction will be available on Friday evening. What's even cooler is this beautiful home is on the market for sale too!


Some of you are aware that Bravery has started the ongoing online auction with Ebay Giving Works and so far, after muddling through the learning process, I have managed to raise a good amount from the first week. Unfortunately, I have some gift donations from generous companies that I can't put on Ebay because they are gift certificates and they are too valuable. Isn't that nuts?! SO, the best solution was to have a silent auction, so that YOU can come and see these great items for yourself and take them home with you immediately! The monies collected from the silent auction will go into the very first Bravery Scholarship fund, which will go to a domestic violence survivor from the Bravery Project program and Tempe Dollars for Scholars. So help us help survivors break the cycle by sending two people to college for a shot at a better life. It's all tax deductible.

I will also be collecting donations at the event as well and any amount, whether it's 1 dollar or 5 dollars, or anything that you can afford will go to help the beneficiaries provide services to survivors and help them overcome domestic violence for good!

If you like what you see in the Bravery portraits and want one for yourself, remember that a $500.00 donation to Bravery will get you a custom portrait of yourself, your pet, your kids, whatever you wish. Excellent for Christmas.

Now that I sound like an infomercial, just remember that you are most welcome to attend the salon just for the sake of enjoying the food, entertainment and great art. You don't have to spend a dime, just have fun and come (with friends) and say hello to me! If you didn't receive an evite from me, pop an RSVP in email so I can get a count.

Heart, Mind, and Soul

As a person who likes to look at the positive side of life, I believe that people are amazing and can do the most wonderful feats with very little other than the power of their own trilogy: heart, mind, and soul. I have trust in the community and our ability to come together and make miracles happen, but it takes a lot of hard work and perseverance to organize and execute a plan to get the desired results.

For instance: I just finished reading 1776, written by Pulitzer Prize winner David McCullough, about the first and most important year of the American Revolution. This book is loaded with quotes from American and British people, revealing a very interesting story. Artwork is included for visuals that captured the day. You may think...how dull, but anything beginning with enlightenment on the madness of King George is anything but boring.

Now that we are faced with upcoming elections, it's easy to become disheartened and cynical about people in the government and feel like your voice has no power. This is simply not true. If you read 1776 and see that in the final hours of a major victory, the only saving grace was the "trilogy" of the volunteer army to persevere in the worst conditions and continue forward in the quest for freedom, you will know just how important your voice still is today. The army was a mere handful of people against a massive and well funded British army in addition to a group of animals they hired as mercenaries. Think 300 style and you will understand what I mean.

Why am I saying this? Because your trilogy still applies in issues that matter to you and your community. Yes it's true that the government is a giant machine compared to what it was in the days of George Washington, and it's true that the media can influence our choices, BUT it's also true that people coming together with one voice can be the final influence to the government and media output.

Many laws that are passed in legislation were started by a concerned citizen, i.e. Megan's Law or Amber Alert. Pro-life vs Pro-choice issues are a good example of government concern because the public cares so much about it. We just need more of the same for domestic violence issues, but it will only happen if you arm yourself with knowledge about the politicians you pay to serve you, come together for a cause you believe in, and use your voice and vote. The system put in place by our forefathers and mothers is only broken if we get frustrated, give up and take no action, while those politicians who live off your tax money,i.e. the "political welfare system," do either nothing or make decisions that harm our communities and continue forth unfettered. The power really is with the people to make the world a better and safer place, we just need to remember that, believe it, and get involved and do something.

1776
Origins of Megan's Law
Origins of Amber Alert
Woman Fights for Domestic Violence Law

Write it Down!

I am a big fan of collaboration because every single human mind is unique and has something special to offer the world. Years ago when studying biology, I learned that all human brains, even in identical twins, develop individual neurological pathways to create a one-of-a-kind piece of biological machinery that can never be duplicated or replaced by technology. That is why each and every single person on this planet is special and unique and should not be thought of as numbers but as individuals with gifts and potential. Because of this, it's a sad fact that our wonderful minds get messages mixed up from degenerative nerve disease or refuse to recall data when we need and want the information in the tangible world.

One of the survivors from the Bravery series works in a rehabilitation and care facility for people who suffer from neurological disease and explained that the brain is just like a muscle and must be exercised to keep it strong. Of course I forgot to ask what kind of exercise because my brain seems to be switched on all the time, but continues to malfunction periodically throughout the day. I recently put some paper in the refrigerator, my purse under the bathroom sink, and sailed right past my freeway exit, extending my driving time by fifteen minutes. I think that's called autopilot, where some alien being is choosing random thoughts in my head with a remote control. Anyway, where was I?

Thank goodness for pen and paper. I would be lost without my planner, computer notes and email. Writing down important events is not only a time saver for the absent minded, like myself, but it can be a saver for a domestic violence victim.

A wonderful survivor, I just met today, explained that her experience with domestic violence cases in the courtroom showed a real discrepancy in evidence against an abuser. The battered spouse comes to testify with the story written on her body in bruises. Yes that is proof, but it's not enough.

I've heard the legal system is a travesty, but it doesn't have to be. After serving on two juries, I conclude that it's in part the quality of the attorney and judge, but mostly about evidence and how it's portrayed. We are a visual culture, but also a culture of documentation. We want things in writing as proof that an agreement between two parties took place. We want documentation that our hours of work were done and the paid. In a courtroom, everything is documented by a court reporter for several reasons and one of them is recall. Sometimes the reporter must read a previous question or answer in order to prove a point.

People who continue to suffer domestic violence should do the same. It will not cross their minds when the abuse happens or when they are in the midst of the chaos of leaving, but they must be told to document everything they can remember. Times, dates, events, and something that can be proven, such as what TV or radio show was on during the experience. Write it Down!

The legal system can only do so much with what is given to them for evidence and as a plaintiff or a community we can't expect them to make all the decisions we believe is fair without providing something for them to use. When you come across someone who still suffers, listen first, show them the Wheel of Power and Control, give them numbers to call for help, and tell them to document everything. It's the least we can do.

Donations and Upcoming Events

Website
I am thrilled to say that Bravery Project just received it's first donation. We are on our way to helping others provide services to people and animals in need. It's a very good feeling to know that a year's worth of planning is coming together.

A few things have been added to the Bravery Project website that you should know about. There is a share button so that you can link the webpage inside your emails and send them to people. You will find them on the home page, the gallery opening page and the new guest book.

Now you can share your thoughts right on the website by signing and commenting in the guestbook. It's a nice interactive one. I think it even has a bleep feature that dots out curse words. I am a big on collaboration, so I welcome feedback and suggestions.

There will be more interactive features added as I continue to build the site when I have time.

Events

On the front page are events where the Bravery portraits and stories will be displayed. You may be familiar by now with the online gallery, which shows all portraits and stories, including an artists note. Keep checking because I am still adding new portraits to it as the stories are coming in.

Invitations will be going out for an Art Salon next month. This is a special for Bravery because this is the only scheduled event in which ALL the Bravery portraits and stories will be displayed in one place. Additionally, I am teaming up with two other professional artists to raise money for charity. This all takes place over three days in a multimillion dollar home with some live music, a live art painting performance, and lots of food. If I don't have your email and you don't get an invitation from me, please download the flyer on the website and visit the salon page.

The other event next month takes place at Cup O Karma and is very exciting because one of my beneficiaries has taken the opportunity to use the portraits for a mini show and benefit for them. It's a great way to help an organization with the portraits. Since this promotion takes place at a coffee shop, Bravery merchandise has been included in this month-long promotion to help promote Bravery and allow people to support the organization through a small purchase rather than a large pledge they can't afford. Again, if I have your email, I can send out invitations to you; otherwise, you can see the flyer for the event on the website.

If you come, please say hello!

Self Defense

ALL females of any age should take a self defense course. Not only to learn how to protect themselves physically, but to learn more about prevention of sexual assault and violence crime in general. Men and children should as well, but I am not talking about joining a martial arts class and spending years honing an attack or defense skill.

I've taken two self defense courses. One was a semester of GungFu at the community college and the other was R.A.D. (Rape Aggression Defense Systems) at Arizona State University. Although enjoyable, both provided a very different approach to self protection and some valuable lessons in life.

The GungFu course was based on an ancient Chinese martial arts system that uses elements of Kung Fu and the philosophy of peacefulness--defense using your attacker's size and momentum against him/her rather than attack strategy. This is excellent for women and children because size is irrelevant. It's all about timing and skill; however, it takes a lot of practice to remember the moves and then you should practice with someone to really get the brain/muscle memory to be effective.

Unfortunately, I heard a story in that class that really stuck with me: A young woman was a sexually assaulted and carried a greater shame inside her mind than many other victims because she was a black belt in Karate. To her AND her Karate instructor, she was a failure because her impressive skill did not protect and save her from rape. The anger started to rise in me when I heard about her second victimization, but then it struck me: I am sitting in this GungFu class doing the same thing. Although the instructor did a great job, how much of this foreign movement will I remember when I am terrified inside an adrenaline rush of fighting my way out of an attack? Not much.

Thank goodness programs like R.A.D. exist. Rape Aggression Defense Systems are based on real-world street fighting and something any person can learn and do. The 12 hour courses are the right amount of time to learn about how to avoid an attack (accounts for 90% of safety) like being aware of surroundings, watching other people's behavior, etc. Then the fun part, learning the natural and realistic way to fight your way out of an attack. The best aspect, you get to actually do it with a real attacker. In my case it happened to be a very sweet retired police officer to began to harass me and then finally grabbed me before I began yelling, hitting, and kicking at him. Don't worry, it's difficult to hurt someone you like who is wearing thick pads and a helmet. They even record your results to see how you responded, which usually ends in laughter.

There are probably other classes available, but I highly recommend taking the R.A.D. classes and they are FREE at ASU. Plus you can take it as many times as you want. Most likely R.A.D. will be offered free at a college in your area and you can do a class search on their website. Regardless of what program you choose to go with, learn self defense. It's your responsibility to do everything in your power to protect yourself.

R.A.D.
ASU Crime Prevention Unit (teaches free R.A.D classes)
GungFu

Freedom to Be Yourself

Many of us have had a family member, friend, or partner that doesn't like something about us and tries to get us to change it or maybe we have tried to change them. It's part of normal human behavior to deal with another person's annoying habits, but when it comes to using manipulative tactics to force behavioral change, there's a problem.

A common myth about domestic violence is that it means only battering or physical violence. Using the word "violence" in the name suggests it when in truth the physical aspect is only a part of the issue. The larger portion is everything but the battering: the control, the verbal abuse, manipulation, and not letting that person have the freedom to be who they are.

Nonphysical elements of domestic violence usually start subtly so that many times they are dismissed as odd occasional behavior or as she/he "just wants whats best for me". Here are two very different kinds of examples of control and manipulation that are interesting when compared.

I recently learned about a student who came to a college staff member in tears, talking about how her boyfriend wanted her to change her major. Unfortunately, she had already shown up before with a black eye, prepared with excuses when questioned. Of course, the staff member told her not to listen to him, but to follow her own heart. Good advice. Except the problem is her heart and spirit are already breaking from the emotional beatings she lives with everyday. The fact that she talked to someone is a good sign that she needs and wants help. Better advice would be to give her an out: The Wheel of Power and Control, several numbers to call for an emergency and advocate, and an escape plan list.

Compare that with a humerous, fictional tale about a girl from a rich blue-blood family named Penelope. She was born with a deformity; a curse of having the nose of a pig. To break the curse, she had to find someone of her own class to love and marry her. Her mother spends all her waking hours trying to find blue-blood suitors to marry her daughter in order to break the curse. To "protect" her daughter, the mother fakes the infant's death and locks her up in the house. Penelope lives her entire childhood inside the house away from the "cruel" world. (I highly recommend this movie for everyone, especially girls.)

You wouldn't think of Penelope as a victim of domestic violence, living in a beautiful house with everything she could ever want; however, she is a victim of power and control...until she makes the decision to change things. The point here is that it can be easy to fall into the "they want what's best for me" mentality when someone else is trying to make you change something about yourself or the decisions you make. Eventually the manipulation becomes transparent, saying that it's time to get out.

Wheel of Power and Control Post
Penelope

Bravery Online Gallery and Auction

The launch of the online Bravery gallery is live as of August 1st. I decided to begin the viewing earlier than October in order to build momentum for the website and collect donations. Unfortunately my online pay client account is not active yet, but should be on August 4th. Once the pay client is active,there will be a ChipIn widget on the front page that you can copy the html code and embed it into your own website, myspace, or blog to help Bravery meet the $100,000 goal. This is a lofty goal but I know we can reach it together.

Because of this early launch, all the portraits are not live yet, but will be up during the first couple weeks of August. Additionally, the gallery and auction page will be continually updated. I will keep you in formed when everything is complete. In the meantime I encourage you to view the art, read the stories, and share the website.

The auction will be through MissionFish/Ebay and is set for open bidding on September 1st to allow for more in-kind donations to come in. There is also a new blog specifically for the Bravery Auction that you can subscribe by email to stay updated on the new additions to the auction and where we are in the donation pool. This subscription is identical to the blog subscription at dvportraits.blogspot.com. There are some really wonderful items to bid on and it keeps getting better.

Please offer me feedback or ideas. I value your opinion. Happy viewing!

Share Bravery and Volunteer

I've been in touch with a few of you the past couple of weeks, trying to hash out details and snafu's for Bravery. I want to say thank you for your patience with me as I run around in a frenzy trying to coordinate communication between all the many elements that will make Bravery successful. Those of you who are making calls for inkind donations for me and have volunteered your experienced skills have helped me feel like I am not alone in the efforts to bring Bravery together.

I have confirmed 8 items so far for the Ebay auction. Since the goal is to have 50 items or more for people to bid on, I will need more volunteers to contact companies for inkind donations. Keep in mind that there are people from all across the country who will be viewing Bravery and bidding on the auction, so request items from companies that can be redeemed anywhere in the US as well as items here in Arizona and in other states. In return for the donations, Bravery will market the company as a sponsor on the website, Ebay, and on some collateral materials where appropriate. Please contact me for more information.

The financial goal of Bravery is to collect $10,000.00 per beneficiary and there are 10, which means a total of $100,000.00 by the end of October. None of this is for Bravery Project, Inc.; it is all for the nonprofits who are doing such great work and service for others in need. This may be a high goal, but obtainable with your help. For example, if 10 businesses are willing to donate $1,000.00 each, then 10% of the goal has been made. Breaking it down into bite size chunks and working together produces amazing results. I believe we can do it! A donation request letter has been created that can be used to send to businesses. If you would like to go this route, please let me know.

One of the best ways to market something is through good old fashioned word-of-mouth. On the Bravery Project website, is a link to a page where you can share Bravery with others. My business card, a simple flyer about the online show and auction, Powerpoint presentation, and posters are available to be emailed, downloaded and printed along with a list of ideas on how you can help spread the word about Bravery. If you have any trouble with downloading any of the items, let me know as well. We have only two months before showtime!!

~ Together We Can Make A Difference ~

Speaking Out

At the tender age of 18 with a bright future, Jennifer Ann Crecente was killed by her ex-boyfriend. This extremely painful experience has led Drew Crecente to speak out and fight for awareness in teen dating violence with a nonprofit organization called Jennifer Ann Memorial Group, Inc. With some perseverance, this devoted father has managed to mass produce a free Educational Card about Teen Dating Violence explaining the warning signs and how to get help. Cards are sent to schools and the staff make them available to students. He has managed, on his own, to send out over 170,000 of these cards to high schools all across the United States. Impressive.
(Order here if you want to request cards for your local schools.)

I am honored to say that Drew and Jennifer are part of the program and will have a portrait created for the Bravery Project.

In our conversation, we spoke about how Jennifer never talked about her stalker or any of the distress she was under. With a good relationship between parent and teen, it must be baffling to think "why didn't she say something?" One prominent reason is the shame and embarrassment of admitting to someone, especially a parent who is loved and respected.

Silence is dangerous. Dangerous for the person who suffers and dangerous for the community who ignores the symptoms. There is more awareness about domestic violence than ever before, but getting people to talk about it is a different story, let alone DO something about it.

Below are two videos: The first is an Australian commercial that is a perfect example of apathy as an accomplice. The second is an interview with Patrick Stewart. You will recognize him as Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation hit TV series. His interview was done for Amnesty International, but speaks to all of us about personal experience of a boy growing up with domestic violence with hope for the future.

News Bites

There are several exciting updates to share this week. Bravery has an official logo for one. Something very simple, clean, easy to understand and mass print. Now it's time for press release packages to go out. Please send an email if there are any media ideas you can share.


Speaking of media contacts, Domestic Violence...the Musical? is about ready for it's debut in El Paso, Texas. Linda and John King have made it a reality. Hopefully when you visit this blog, you can take some time to look at the real time news flashes on the left side of the screen. There is always very interesting information from around the world on domestic violence--art too if you are into that. Well, to my pleasant surprise, one of the news items happens to be about the musical in El Paso. You can also read about it here. I will be teaming up with the Kings to set up an official website for the musicals in the near future. Additionally, Bravery will be joining the DV Musical at the Herberger in September. I've always wanted to show my art at the Herberger, and we'll be there! Will you?


Another exciting adventure for Bravery is a new event at Cup O' Karma Cafe for a Cause, formally known as Into the Bean, as a benefit for National Advocacy and Training Network. The coffee shop is an uber-cool place with a fold out stage and fun atmosphere. The reception for that one is scheduled September 4th. Even before the October debut, Bravery is in a position to start helping other nonprofits in a specific way. More to come on this later.


One of the items to be offered at these events will be Bravery t-shirts. I found someone to sponsor 100 t-shirts and another company to donate the screen printing. What a blessing. Now what we need are some cool ideas for t-shirt designs. Something that is fun and presents the message of being Brave. If you have an idea, please send an email. I'd love to hear from you.